My Blog

Are you kidding me?!?!

This happens every year during the Holidays.  I, like most mothers, spread myself too thin. Today, I have the overwhelming feeling of "do I do ANYTHING right?".  Well, to be more specific, does anyone else see that I do anything right?  It seems the harder I try to please people the more grief I get.  It's okay because that means that I am putting my self out there.  And the truth is, that is does not matter what they all think......I know that I am doing a lot of good.  If my family doesn't see it that way then someone else will.  And that will be where I choose to focus my efforts.  This is why my first endeavor will involve volunteer work.  I know that I will develope great sense of pride by helping those that need it and let those spoiled ingrates fend for themselves. LOL.

What held me back today??  Illness and goofiness :)  I have strep throat. Despite that, I got myself dressed and ready to go finish all of our Christmas shopping and get things for my son's birthday party (Note to all:  DO NOT have your children within 2 weeks of Christmas!!  It is such a beating....For those doing the math, mid to late March is a no woopy time of year).  Exhausted and achey, I reach for my keys.  That was 30 hours ago and still have not found them!!! UGH...... not sure what I am going to do.  Today was tough, even with my helmet. :/

It's a Wonderful Life :/

I have a life that many woman (and men, I suppose) would love to have.  I am a 37 year old married mother of three.  I have been primarily a stay-at-home mom.  I have worked jobs here and there and even run my own small business.  So I can say with authority that the mom job is, by far, the hardest.  I have the luxury of not having to work and I choose to be the care provider for my own kids.  It is important to me to be at school parties, field trips etc.  It is awesome and I truly love my life.......so what am I bitching about???  Well here is the ugly truth.  As a stay at home mom (SAHM),  I have sacrificed much of myself.  My career goals, hobbies and frankly my appearance have been put on hold.  I have learned over the past 14 years to make time to unwind throughout the day.  I know how to relax with a good book and a glass of wine. I have been taking care of my physical self, but I am missing something very important!  I miss having something to be proud of.  Ofcourse, I am proud of my kids, my husband and proud of what a great mother I am....blah, blah, blah! But I am more than a wife and a mother.  I need to have something to be proud of, unrelated to my investment in my family.  The dilemma, as with most moms, is that we forget what we used to love to do.  I am on a quest to find something that I enjoy and can be proud of.   The only way to do this is to try it all!  The problem,  life gets in the way.... between grief, midlife crisis, puberty x2, premenopause, sports and general day to day life it is hard to try new things.   However, I am determined and will soldier on, cautiously and wearing my "helmet".